Estik
by Kaylee Tam
Summary: A wacky story filled with fun adventures which involve gallavanting from fandom to fandom. Interesting characters meet, situations are played out, and the plot has yet to exist. T for safety.
1. Chapter One: EstVtsgy

**Estik** is a strange story filled with oddness and, quite frankly, not my best writing. But, don't let that discourage you; if anything should discourage you it would be the lack of definite plotline or OCness of the main character. But please, read anyway.  
This story will cover a variety of fandoms. In fact, a very wide variety. Every chapter, in fact (or as close to that as possible) will be a different fandom. And, I won't tell you which one it is! But, again, don't worry. I try to write, also, for people who hadn't heard of the fandom so they, too, can enjoy the chapter.

But if you are, at all, confused, PLEASE tell me about what and I can fix it. I know all of these fandoms (obviously) and so I might assume you to know something that you don't.

**Disclaimer:** Only one character in this story is mine. If any others pop up, I will mention them. All other characters and instances belong to someone else.

* * *

I rubbed my eyes, yawning. I was not a morning person by any definition, and the big ruckus didn't help. I scratched my head, realizing my hair was a mess, and sighed. I reached over to the nightstand to find my glasses.

My hand felt wet, hard grass when I reached over. My glasses, book, and alarm clock were missing, and all of a sudden I felt very cold and damp.

I tried to focus on my surroundings. When I had first woken up, all that I saw were darkness and the faint outline of trees; I had assumed that was because I'm as blind as a bat. Now that I was more aware, however, I realized that I wasn't in my bed and that I was laying on the cold, hard grass that I had felt before.

I propped myself up with my elbows and squinted, trying to see where I was. 'Meadow' was the only thing I could think of, but I could barely make out distant flashes of light. Fireworks?

I got up, brushing myself off, thankful that I had gone to sleep in my sweats last night as opposed to my underwear. I wasn't wearing shoes, however (who wears shoes in bed?), and my socks were completely soaked in record time.

As I got closer to the lights, I could more distinctly make out the nature of the ruckus; there was screaming, yelling, missiles going off and some kind of sound effect I'd only ever heard on TV. It didn't sound pretty, and I wasn't altogether sure about walking towards it anymore, so I stopped.

As soon as I did, an icy breeze blew by. The sweats were the warmest in my closet, but they couldn't do squat against antarctic wind. Soon my teeth were chattering and my arms felt like snakeskin. I weighed the pros and cons in my head: walk toward the noise and probably get hurt (by who knows what), or not walk toward the noise and die of frostbite and very possibly starvation.

How did I even freaking _get_ here, wherever 'here' is?

"Milady?" came a woman's voice. I turned around, shocked, but I didn't see anyone.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice shaking as hard as my body and my breath as thick and as visible as smoke.

"Milady, are you alright? What are you doing out here on your own, in such close proximity to the battle?"

Battle? "Who are you? _Where_ are you? Do you have a blanket?"

"Why, milady, I'm right here."

"What, behind the firefly?"

There was a pause. "Milady, I am _not_ a firefly. My light is brighter, cleaner, and quite more lovelier, and it does _not_ emit from my rear."

I squinted, trying to see her. "So you're behind the floaty light thing?"

"Milady, I _am_ the 'floaty light thing.' I'm called a Wisp, thank you very much."

"Uh..." so there's a floaty light thing, or 'wisp,' talking to me in the middle of the woods right next to a battle? "Do you have a blanket?"

"No," she said, "But come back to Base with me, we can get you cleaned up. What race are you?"

I was startled by the last question. "Uh, I'm white, but why would you ask a question like that? I thought racism was on the downhill."

"Are you human?" the wisp asked.

"Uh, yeah," I said, wondering why she had to ask.

"Good. We can't have any Orcs or Undead infiltrating our Base, now can we?" I didn't know how to answer this question, but apparently it was redundant because she continued. "Follow me. We can take care of you until a Human squad brings you back to your Base."

She proceeded to float away. I was very confused by her last sentence, but it contained 'we can take care of you,' which either meant she was going to kill me or give me a blanket. I followed her, knowing I would die out here anyway if I refused, and I really needed a blanket. And a hot cocoa.

I followed her until we were in a strange patch of trees. I say 'patch of trees' instead of 'forest' because for one, all of the trees were moving, two, the trees had faces, and three, they were too far apart to be considered any kind of mass 'group.'

The wisp led me past a tree that glowed and a tree that literally pushed itself up from the ground, walked over to a different area, and plopped back down before we stopped in front of what looked like some kind of cottage.

"I must attend to my duties," the non-firefly said, "The ladies in here can assist you." She flew off before I could ask her a question.

I shrugged, deciding I had no choice, and walked in. There were three girls who looked about my age (seventeen), and I couldn't make out any of their features as they were bluish blobs. Yes, I said blue. They turned toward me when I walked in and smiled.

"Ah, a Human! Our allies are treated with utmost respect, of course." The girl speaking bobbed, which I think meant she bowed. The other two blobs walked over to me and grabbed one arm each (which was a little unsettling), leading me over to something that looked much like a rectangle. I hoped it was a bed. Beds come with blankets.

"Get some rest, Human," one of them said soothingly and produced a blanket (thank god).

I accepted the blanket and was about to ask for hot chocolate when I remembered that I didn't know where I was.

"This might sound stupid," I started, realizing I chose the wrong phrase to start the sentence with, "but could you tell me where we are?"

"We are at Night Elf Base Camp," a blob said simply, "And don't worry, we are allied with the Humans. We are not your enemy."

"Well, yeah, the wisp thing said we were going to base, but I mean like what city are we in? Or by?" I added, remembering that I woke up in a meadow and those aren't all that common in urban areas.

"Get some sleep, Human, and you will remember in the morning. The cold often makes people forgetful." I think the blob smiled. Another blob walked over to her and handed her something.

"Here is some tea," the blob continued, handing me the something she received, which turned out to be some kind of mug. "It is very warm and has healing properties, and is very soothing to the senses. I think you'll find sleep a welcome retirement tonight."

_I just woke up, how can I fall asleep again?_ "I don't really like tea," I said truthfully, setting the mug down on a nearby table.

"Please, miss," the blob said, handing the mug back to me. "It will help you sleep, and rest strengthens the soul."

"Are you trying to dope me?" I asked, putting the mug on the table.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, picking up the mug but not handing it to me.

"Did you put some kind of drug in there? What're you going to do to me when I'm asleep? Is that poison?" I knew I was acting like a conspiracy freak, but give me a break. I was supposed to be in my house instead of some weird living-elf-tree place.

"Please, miss. Humans are our allies. We would not poison our own side." She tried to hand me the mug, but I ignored it.

"How do _I_ know you're my allies?" I asked, "You're the one who told me that. You could be lying. I wouldn't know."

The blob, instead of responding, reached out a limb and pinched me and I suddenly felt very tired. She probably did that weird nerve-ending thing I'd heard about.

But the thing she did next was very annoying. She force-fed me the tea. This was the point where I seriously doubted that we were allies, but I didn't have much time to; I was asleep within seconds.

v


	2. Chapter Two: Zrry yjr Tpnomdpmd

**__**

But if you are, at all, confused, PLEASE tell me about what and I can fix it. I know all of these fandoms (obviously) and so I might assume you to know something that you don't.

* * *

_The blob, instead of responding, reached out a limb and pinched me and I suddenly felt very tired. She probably did that weird nerve-ending thing I'd heard about._

_But the thing she did next was very annoying. She force-fed me the tea. This was the point where I seriously doubted that we were allies, but I didn't have much time to; I was asleep within seconds._

* * *

When I woke up, I wasn't in the bed that the stupid blue blob made me fall asleep in. I hoped desperately that I was in _my_ bed.

I looked around, and nope, no cigar. As far as I could tell, I was on grass again, it was bright and apparently not night anymore, and I thought I saw buildings in the distance. Of course, I can never trust what I see.

I heard something whizzing by me, and I could have sworn that whatever it was only missed me by an inch. I squinted at where it came from, and didn't see anything until a black blob came running towards me.

"I'm sorry," the blob called (apparently it was male), "Did I hit you?"

"No, not quite," I replied, trying to get a look at his face as I stood up. "Uh, do you happen to know where we are?"

"Yeah, that's the center of Anne over there," he said, lifting a limb. I think he was pointing at the place where I thought I saw buildings before. I hoped Anne was a city. "Why? Did you hit your head?"

"Probably," I said, thinking about it. It was possible I was having hallucinations.

"Do you think you need to go to the hospital?" he asked. He didn't really sound all that concerned. "Do you have a phone?"

"No," I said, feeling my pockets. Life lesson: put your phone in your pocket before falling asleep, because you never know where you're gonna wake up.

He sighed. "Come to my house and use our phone." He turned and started walking back the way he came.

"Wait," I said, and he stopped to turn around. "Don't you want your... thingy?" I pointed behind me, where the thing that had whizzed by had gone.

"No, I got it," he said, holding up something small and white. I was confused, not remembering him go over to pick it up. I shook my head and caught up with him, nearly tripping over the ground.

"So what brings you to this neck of the field?" he asked as we walked, playing with what I assumed was a baseball. I looked around and in one direction all I saw was grass, in another I saw some kind of body of water separating us from Anne.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

"You don't know what you were doing out here?" he asked, suppressing a laugh.

"Not really."

"Seriously?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, what's the last thing you remember?"

"A strange elf lady was shoving tea down my throat."

The blob stopped in his tracks. "Something's wrong with you," he stated. He then spoke slowly, enunciating every syllable, as if he were talking to a five-year-old. "There are no such thing as elves."

"I know, that's the scary part," I said, annoyed at him. He shook his head and kept walking.

"Okay, let me start at the beginning," I said, sighing. "I was in my bed, at home, and I fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night, right next to some kind of battle. A firefly comes by and tells me to follow her into what she called 'base,' and there were moving trees there. Then these girls tell me they're elves and try to shove drugged tea in my face, telling me to rest. They kept saying they were allied to the humans, or something like that. I'm not kidding," I said, when he started to laugh. "Then they force fed me the tea, which tasted really bad, and I fell asleep. And when I woke up you were trying to pelt me with baseballs."

He looked me up and down. "Maybe my dad can let you use his memory scanner. I doubt it though."

I rose my eyebrow, wondering just what a memory scanner was, when he said, "We're here."

I couldn't exactly tell where 'here' was, but I could see that it was a big building. Way bigger than homes usually are. "This is your_ house?"_

"Yep." I couldn't make out his face, but I knew he was grinning by the way he talked. We walked up the steps to a really big door.

"Ring my doorbell," someone said suddenly, popping out of the planter.

"Holy crap," I said in surprise.

"I've never gotten that response before," the person who wanted me to ring their doorbell said.

"Guys, we don't need to ring a doorbell. Give it up." The black blob opened the door, waiting for me before going in.

"Let's go find my dad," he said, walking off. I could tell the entry room was huge, and wished I had my glasses. I bet it looked really cool.

"Oh, I forgot to ask," the blob said as we walked, "What's your name?"

"Janine," I replied, regretting it instantly. I hated that name. Why didn't I make something up?

"I'm Wilbur," he said, holding out his hand. I shook it, glad I didn't do something stupid like miss. "So Janey, where do you live?"

"It's a little town by Los Angeles. You wouldn't have heard about it."

He nodded. "Mm-hmm. And how come you don't look at me when I talk?"

"What?" I turned to look at him. "I look at you."

"Not really," he said, "You're always a few inches off."

Maybe I should start wearing my glasses to bed, too. "Uh... my eyesight sucks." I didn't really like telling people because they tended to treat it like a handicap. It _was_ a handicap, but that's not the point.

"Really? My dad invented these contacts..." he stopped himself. "I really shouldn't brag. Even though I want to. So, what's with the getup?"

Wilbur really liked to ask questions. "This is what I fell asleep in."

"Really? What happened to pink pajamas and bunny slippers?"

I looked down at my white shirt, black sweats and brown socks. (They used to be white.) "Yeah, well, I don't like pink."

"Neither do I, Janey." He clapped me on the back. A man entered the hallway, looking down at a paper as he walked. I couldn't quite tell what he looked like, but he was mostly blue and yellow.

"There he is!" Wilbur said, jogging over to him. "Hey, Dad!" He promptly gave the man a hug before walking him over to me.

"Dad, this is Janine, AKA Janey. Janey, this is my dad, Cornelius." I was glad I didn't miss his hand before shaking it. "So basically I found her on the side of the road, she has no idea how she got there, she had a crazy dream about elves and her eyes suck."

"Uh, great, son," Cornelius said, "But why don't you let her introduce herself before you tell me things you might have misinterpreted?"

I could tell Wilbur was blushing.

"Well, basically it's like he said," I twiddled my fingers. "All I remember is I fell asleep, I woke up, some kind of elf girl made me drink tea so I fell asleep again, and I woke up on the field out there where Wilbur nearly hit me with a baseball."

"Nearly!" Wilbur exclaimed before his dad could get mad at him.

"What about your eyes?" he asked, "Because I think I could help you with that."

How could I describe how bad my eyes were? "I couldn't tell you what you're wearing," I said, shrugging, "Just that it's blue."

"Don't you have glasses?" he asked.

"Well, I don't normally wear them when I sleep. They're probably still on my nightstand." I laughed a little, wondering what I got myself into, and how.

He sighed. "Follow me."

Wilbur and I did as he instructed, and I learned soon that Wilbur doesn't take to silence well.

"So tell me more about the elves," he said, sounding genuinely interested.

"Well, uh," I could tell that Cornelius was listening, too, and it made me nervous. "I woke up in a wet meadow, at night, and you know how I can't see very well. I saw lights in the distance, so I started walking towards them. Actually, I was hoping they'd have a blanket I could use, 'cause it was freezing."

I paused, wondering if they were still listening. "That's strange," Wilbur said, and I think he nodded for me to go on. But maybe that was my imagination.

"Well, then what I thought was a firefly came along and asked me what race I was. I thought, that's weird. Well, obviously, but still. I said I was white, and she asked me if I was human. I thought that was obvious - but then again, if it was a dream, who knows what I looked like. Then she said something about being allied with humans, and told me she was going to take me back to base."

"'Base'?" Wilbur asked.

"Yeah, I don't know," I clarified.

"What you _thought_ was a firefly?" Cornelius asked. For a second I had forgotten he was listening, and I hesitated before answering.

"Yeah, I told her I thought she was a firefly and she started getting all defensive. She called herself a 'wisp', and I think she had real issues about that firefly deal."

"What did 'base' look like?" Wilbur asked.

This was the confusing part. "Well, if I told you, you'd think I was crazy."

"Janey, you told us you were talking to a firefly with issues. I think we're past that point."

I let out a little nervous laugh. "Well, uh, it was really just a bunch of trees, I think. I mean..." I sighed. How do you explain trees with faces? "They - the trees, I mean - they had, like, faces, and one of them uprooted and walked over to somewhere else-"

"Was there a gold mine?" Wilbur asked.

"What?"

"A gold mine. Like, a white, rocky hill with ore carts and stuff."

I thought back. "I'm not really sure. I didn't notice it, if it was there. Why?"

"No reason," he said. "Go on."

"Well, uh, there was a cottage-"

"Wait, were there moon shrines?" Wilbur interrupted again.

"What are moon shrines?" I asked.

"They're kind of like silver crosses with a puddle of water at the base."

"I don't know. I was too distracted by the tree shaped like an eagle."

"Wait a second, there was a tree shaped like an eagle?"

"Didn't I say that?"

"No, you just said that they walked around."

"Well, I was-"

"Was there a big tree in the center?"

"I don't know! I'm legally blind, okay?"

He hesitated.

"Well I went into the cottage, and the girls there said they were allies of the humans, and enemies of orcas and vampires or something like that-"

"Orcs?"

"I don't know. Probably. Stop interrupting me."

Wilbur let out some kind of light grunt, and I think he crossed his arms.

"They said something about a night elf base camp, and then they tried to make me drink this tea-"

"Night elves? You didn't mention that before!"

"Would you shut up?" I said loudly, then realized Wilbur's dad was still listening. I cringed for a second, waiting for him to tell me not to use bad language, but he acted like he didn't hear me.

"I really don't like tea," I continued, wondering what Wilbur's expression was like, "So I tried to tell them I wouldn't drink it. They kept saying that I needed rest, even though I had really just woken up, and I kept saying no. Then they forced me to drink it and it made me fall asleep."

I paused, and Wilbur was quiet.

"Sorry, Wilbur," I mumbled. He seemed to have heard it, and took that as permission to speak again.

"Was there a battle going on when you got there?" he asked.

"Actually, yeah. The wisp thing told me that's what the flashing lights were. How did you know?"

"Well, it's kind of a stretch, really. But it's not important."

"What was-" I was going to finish that question with 'it,' but Cornelius interrupted me with "We're here!"

I looked around. We were in a big, round room, the golden floor covered by a glass dome. There were all kinds of colorful things on display. Cornelius was walking over to a desk, and Wilbur and I followed. I thought Wilbur might've been smiling, but I couldn't really tell.

"Here you go," Wilbur's dad said, holding out a white box.

"Uh, what is it?" I asked, as I took it from his hand.

"Out of curiosity, I began researching optometry a while back. The eye is actually really fascinating. It took me a really long time - of course, not as long as it took me to build the time machine - but I managed to make these."

I opened the box, and inside were two clear, almost glistening contact lenses.

"They're my only prototypes so far, but I've perfected the plans and I can make more. I'm sure you don't want to hear about exactly how it works, not if you're Wilbur's friend," he gave a little chuckle. "But I'll let you have them."

I looked at them skeptically. From what Wilbur's bragged, I could presume Cornelius was a good inventor (especially if he built a time machine), but I didn't know if I could trust something I put in my eye.

"I don't know," was what I was about to say, but Cornelius, as well as the entire room, was gone.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know I *just* posted the first chapter, but heck, why not? I have up to the 5th chapter written. Who knows, I might put them all up tonight.

v


	3. Chapter Three: Tpvlnsmf

**Author's Note:** There are some characters in this chapter that are, sort of, mine. This fandom is a... commonly unused one. But don't get scared. All I mean is that no one makes fanfics out of it. (And with good reason.)

**__**

But if you are, at all, confused, PLEASE tell me about what and I can fix it. I know all of these fandoms (obviously) and so I might assume you to know something that you don't.

* * *

_I looked at them skeptically. From what Wilbur's bragged, I could presume Cornelius was a good inventor (especially if he built a time machine), but I didn't know if I could trust something I put in my eye._

"_I don't know," was what I was about to say, but Cornelius, as well as the entire room, was gone._

* * *

"Oh, crap," I said simply.

I couldn't tell exactly where I was, but I knew it was orange. I looked around, trying to get details out of my lame vision. Then I remembered the contacts that were still in my hand. Sighing, I put them in, knowing that though I'd prefer my glasses, they were at home, and I had no idea how to get there.

Ho-ly-_freak_. I didn't even know the world _had_ so much detail. I felt like an eagle or a hawk or any other bird of prey, those ones we were learning about in school that could see ants on trees from a hundred feet. I couldn't see any bugs, thank goodness, but I could make out every single hair on the rather wispy orange rug.

I looked around. It was a really small room. The orange rug was more like a carpet, taking up the entire floor. The walls were painted mostly a dark orange, with some maroon flourishes here and there, including brown curtains over the window. There was a small twin bed with a rather comfortable-looking down maroon comforter and some orange and brown throw pillows as well as down pillows. There was a chair in the corner for unknown purposes and a dark orange drum set that took up more than half of the room.

The floor jumped, knocking me to the ground. It was then that I realized I was in some kind of RV or bus or something that was moving. Or there was a really strange earthquake. I got up and walked over to the curtain and pulled it back, seeing an asphalt road zoom by as well as a lot of dirt and some scruffy-looking bushes. So it _was_ an RV or something.

"Have you seen my jacket?" a girl yelled from the other side of the not-very-wide wall.

"No," another girl called back from somewhere further away.

"You sure? It's the most important part of my-" She walked through the bead curtain that led to the room I was in, interrupting her sentence when she saw me. She was kind of short, and very thin. Her hair was long and reddish-brown, with a small black bow off to the side. Her face was slim, and she had yellow lipstick and brown eyes which were narrowed at me. She was wearing an off-orange shirt and a brownish-orange miniskirt, as well as some very cute orange-and-maroon boots.

"Who're you?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Um," I said in response.

"How'd you get here? We're on the road." Her voice was stern.

"I don't really know, to be honest."

She rolled her eyes. "Do you know who I am?"

"Uh... no."

She sat there staring at me for a while, putting her weight on one leg so she leaned a little to the side. It was creepy, so I averted her gaze.

"Mandze!" she called through the beaded curtain, "We got a fan here! I think!"

"That's weird," the girl called back from another room, her voice a little muffled, "There's one over here too. How do they get on when we're on the road?"

The other girl entered the room, and I instinctively took a step back. Her dark red shirt was covered by a black jacket which was buried in small spikes. Her big black boots had rows of very long spikes coming out the front, in the place on your leg that you use to kick with. She was wearing a hardhat that had a single spike coming out of the top, and even her black pants had a couple of spikes jutting from them.

"This is so weird," a familiar voice said as its owner followed Mandze into the room. I recognized him instantly; even though he had only been a blur before, his black hair and clothes offset by his white skin made me know he was Wilbur. "Hey!" he said, jogging over to hug me.

"Uh, do you know who these people are?" I asked after he let go. Mandze and the other girl exchanged a glance.

"Well, yeah," he said as if he would be crazy not to, "It's Insanity Of You."

"Insanity of what? What're you talking about?"

Mandze raised her eyebrow. Wilbur glanced at them, took my hand and led me through the beaded curtain into what looked like the inside of a normal tour bus. I heard the two girls start to talk.

Wilbur crossed his arms and turned to me. "Okay. Have you ever heard of an old game called Rockband?"

"I've heard of it."

"Well, Tallulah and I made a band on it called Insanity Of You. I'm the singer and she plays the drums. Mandze and Karlie are the characters we made up on it."

I stared at him stupidly.

"Tallulah's really good at the drums. She's almost on expert. I'm still working on hard for the microphone."

It took a while for me to find words to use. "So... you're saying we're in a video game?"

"Well, it makes sense," he said.

"It makes sense? In what warped reality does being trapped in a video game make sense?"

"Well, you said you had just come from WarCraft..."

"What's Warcraft? I never said anything about it. How is it possible for us to be in a video game?"

"It's not."

"You make no sense."

He sighed. "How many video games do you play?"

"None."

He paused. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," I said, shrugging.

"No video games at all?" He sounded like he didn't believe me.

"I don't know, I just like reading."

"Who in their right mind actually _likes_ to read? That's something they only make you do in school."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm in my right mind and I'd really like to finish reading Fahrenheit 451."

"You're really strange, you know that?"

I shrugged and nodded.

A shout leaked in from the other room. "I wouldn't stow people!"

"Yes you would!" was the reply.

"Why? Why would I?"

"Well, why not? You were so in love with that Jhonny guy-"

"I was NOT in love with him!"

"You so were!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"I hardly even liked him!"

"You would say that!"

"What if _you _let them on?"

"What? That's insane!"

"Well your insanity was the whole reason behind the band in the first place!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"I'm not insane!"

"Oh please! Like any sane person would pick the _drums._ No one likes the drummer, you know that!"

"The drums happen to be the most important instrument in the band. You guys would die without me!"

"Yeah right! We kick ass! Ain't that right, Benny?"

"Amen!" called a female someone from the other side of the bus.

"You guys wouldn't survive New York without me."

"We _own_ New York."

"Yeah right."

"I Think I'm Paranoid was our best hit! Heebie Jeebie's would _kill_ to have us back."

"That song would be crap without the drums."

"Are you dissing my singing voice?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Even _with_ your dinky drum set, you guys would be nowhere without me."

"You forget we know all the songs. We could rock on without you, lameass!"

"Oh, I'm so scared. Mr. Roboto can't sing for shit, and Benny's no good with the high notes. No offence, Benny."

"S'okay."

"What about Wave Of Mutilation? Why can't we try that one again?"

"Karlie, you_ know_ that's my worst song!"

"But you're a badass singer, you can handle anything, right?"

"You're forgetting the tomato incident!"

"Oh, you're so scared of squishy fruit. Call the paramedics, someone threw ketchup at her!"

"Why don't we go play Enter Sandman?"

"I _rock_ in that song."

"As if! I had to pull you back onstage twice!"

"That's because you wouldn't survive two minutes without a drummer."

"There's other fish in the sea, nimrod. We can just get Keith to come back."

"After what you said to him? I doubt it!"

"Hey, I don't have anything against pink, okay?"

"That's not what you let on! What about his 'manlihood?' "

"Pink goes with his style!"

"You say that now!"

"He put highlights in his hair!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Well, guys started hitting on him for one thing!"

"So what would you do if Keith started dating guys?"

"I wouldn't throw him out if that's what you mean!"

"Oh yeah? Tell him that! That's why he quit in the first place!"

"He quit because of you, doofus!"

"Yeah, right!"

"You kept trying to get back into the band! You scared him off!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"I hugged him once, it wasn't enough to scare him off!"

"He doesn't like being tackled in the middle of practice!"

"I was being nice!"

"You were being an obnoxious pervert!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Then why did you steal his shirt?"

"I didn't know it was _his_ shirt!"

"Who else wears pink frills in his size?"

"I needed pajamas!"

"You needed Keith!"

"You're the pervert!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Oh, such a strong comeback. I'm so scared!"

"You _will_ be scared when we play Juke Box Hero!"

"I rock _ass_ in that song!"

"What about the pineapple?"

"That was an obsessive fan!"

"He called you a slut!"

"That's what fans do!"

"He had a knife!"

"They're crazy, like you!"

"I don't pull knives on people!"

"What about Thanksgiving?"

"I was cutting the turkey!"

"You were waving the knife around!"

"I wasn't gonna hurt anyone!"

"Mr. Roboto pissed his pants!"

"He had to go to the bathroom!"

"We hadn't eaten yet!"

"He had wine!"

"Three sips!"

"It's enough!"

"As fun as this is to listen to," Benny called suddenly from the front of the bus, "We're here."

v


	4. Chapter Four: Frsyj Mpyr

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the length of this one.

**__**

But if you are, at all, confused, PLEASE tell me about what and I can fix it. I know all of these fandoms (obviously) and so I might assume you to know something that you don't.

* * *

"_Mr. Roboto pissed his pants!"_

"_He had to go to the bathroom!"_

"_We hadn't eaten yet!"_

"_He had wine!"_

"_Three sips!"_

"_It's enough!"_

"_As fun as this is to listen to," Benny called suddenly from the front of the bus, "We're here."_

* * *

I never got to find out just where 'here' was, because as soon as I stepped off of the bus, I was somewhere else.

"What the hell," I asked myself, looking around. Visible outside nearby windows were clearly the higher stories of surrounding skyscrapers. In front of the windows, seated at various places in the nicely, however scarcely, furnished room, I saw several people looking at me.

They were all Asian. I hated to admit it, but I had a hard time telling Asians apart. Three that stood out, however, were an old man with grey hair and a mustache, a boy who must have been a couple of years older than me with light hair, and another person; I couldn't tell much other than the fact that he was male. He must have been around the same age as the boy. He stood out the most, with his black hair, white shirt, blue pants, and peculiar position on the chair with his knees bent to his chin, his bare feet tucked underneath.

He and the boy were handcuffed together, I noticed, and the handcuff had an unusually long chain.

One of the unidentifiable men suddenly stood up and said something to me in Chinese or Japanese or something. He sounded kind of angry. I took a step back, looking him up and down. He was a bit more muscled than the rest of them.

The peculiar man said something calmly to him in the same language, then looked back at me. I smiled, confused. "Hi," I said shakily.

"Who are you?" the boy demanded. I was relieved to know that someone here spoke English.

"Um, I'm Janine." Crap. Remember a better name to use next time.

"How did you get in?" he asked.

"Uh, I don't really know," I replied, looking around behind me and seeing a blank wall. "I was getting off of a bus."

The peculiar man turned his head to the side a little, popping a sugar cube into his mouth. He mumbled something to himself.

"Uh, where is this?" I asked stupidly. The boy looked at me strangely.

"Tokyo, Japan," the peculiar man answered, looking up at me. "Where were you just now?"

"I'm not really sure," I said with honesty, "somewhere in America." Very descriptive.

The peculiar man thought about this, taking another sugar cube from a teetering pile. He was making me crave sugar cubes.

"Are they expecting your return?" he asked.

"Um, probably." I was trying to ignore all the other people still staring at me. I wondered if they knew what I was saying. "Unless Wilbur's here somewhere."

The peculiar man said something in that language to one of the other people. The man who now rose looked somehow smaller than the others. His skin was softer, and his face was more boyish. He walked over to me and motioned toward a door. I smiled at him politely and let him lead me through it.

It occurred to me suddenly that even though he wasn't as muscled as the angry Japanese man had been, he was probably stronger than me, and I wouldn't have a chance in a fight. I hoped he wouldn't rape me or anything.

He left the room and I heard them converse in that language. Japanese. I assumed they were talking about me.

I was about to go off and wander, and possibly get lost, when my foot touched stone instead of carpet.

v


	5. Chapter Five: Derrmru Ypgg

_**But if you are, at all, confused, PLEASE tell me about what and I can fix it. I know all of these fandoms (obviously) and so I might assume you to know something that you don't.**_

* * *

_He left the room and I heard them converse in that language. Japanese. I assumed they were talking about me._

_I was about to go off and wander, and possibly get lost, when my foot touched stone instead of carpet._

* * *

I was cold. Then I realized I was outside, standing on the sidewalk of a street which wasn't being used for cars. In fact, I couldn't see any cars anywhere; just lots of people and some horse-drawn carts.

"Oh, great," I muttered. "I travel through time, too."

Someone gasped behind me, and I turned around to see the peculiar man from before. He was lying sprawled across the ground as if he had fallen off of a chair, and I noticed that he still wore the handcuff, but the chain stopped after a couple of inches.

He gazed, wide-eyed, at our surroundings: a cold and windy street lined with poor little shops. I noticed that his eyes had unusually black irises and were accented by dark circles when I bent down to help him up.

He accepted my hand and stood up, slouching over like a paper with a permanent crease. "You don't know where this is?" he asked me.

"Do you?" I asked hopefully. I was cold, and needed somewhere to go before my toes froze off. The uncomfortableness of it all reminded me of night elves and moving trees. And I was at least wearing socks; the poor peculiar man was barefoot.

"But this has happened to you before?" he clarified.

"Yep. What's your name?" I asked suddenly.

He glanced across at me. "Ryuga," he said simply. "Pleasure to meet you."

I shivered. "We should go inside," I offered, going to the closest door. "Do you think they're open?"

But Ryuga was still looking around, muttering to himself. "...-fashioned masonry," I heard, "And horse-drawn carriages... I'd say 17th century London, give or take..."

"Warmth?" I said loudly, and he looked over.

"Important for the human body, yes," he completed, and headed for the door I had opened.

As soon as we entered, a woman looked up from her place behind the counter. She had strangely unkempt hair and wild eyes, but a warm smile and a pleasant voice. "Did you come in for a pie?" she asked in an English accent.

"I came in for warmth," I said honestly as I sat down.

"What kind of pie?" Ryuga asked immediately.

The woman chuckled. "Only serve one kind here, love, and that's a nice hot meat pie. Would you like one?"

He sat down across from me, standing on the chair before lowering himself down on top of his feet. "Oh, yes, please," he accepted. "What about you, Janine?"

"Well..." As if on cue, my stomach growled.

The woman smiled as she came over with two plates. "You two are lucky, then. Got a batch right out of the oven for ya. Care for some ale?"

I looked at the pie as she put my plate down in front of me, smiling as the smell wafted up to my nose. I could feel its warmth already.

"No, this will be fine," Ryuga said, picking up the pie with his hand and taking a surprisingly large bite out of it, evidently not worried about the heat.

Shrugging, I followed suit with a smaller bite.

As he was chewing, Ryuga paused, wide-eyed, a look of disbelief spread across his face.

"Everythin' alright, sir?" the pie woman asked, a little tensely.

His gaze wandered up to hers. "This pie is wonderful," he said softly through a full mouth.

I had to agree. There was something about this particular pie that just tasted good - some secret ingredient, perhaps.

She curtseyed. "Thank you, sir. May I ask your name?" she added as she began wiping down the counter with a cloth.

"Ryuga," he said, offering no surname. "And yours?" He took another bite just as large.

"I'm Mrs. Lovett. I run the pie shop." She made a general gesture at the shop.

Suddenly, Ryuga stopped mid-chew. He paused, then swallowed hastily and slowly lowered his pie. "Mrs. Lovett?" he clarified.

I took my fourth bite and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why, of course, love," she answered, focusing her attention on a stubborn spot on the counter.

He motioned for me to put down my pie, which I did reluctantly. "You wouldn't happen to know a Mr. Sweeney Todd, would you?" he asked calmly, conversationally.

Mrs. Lovett looked up. "Oh, yeah. The barber upstairs? He's a nice tennant. Would you care for a shave?" she asked pleasantly.

I looked over to Ryuga, and noticed that he really, _really _didn't need a shave. "No," he said just as calmly. "I've just heard of him."

"Oh?" she asked. "That famous already?"

"I, actually, think we should get going." Ryuga stepped off of the chair and motioned for me to follow suit, which I did, confused.

Her smile faded. "Why?" she asked directly.

"Thank you for the pie," he smiled, though I could see a little bit of strain in his expression. "How much do I owe you?"

"I don't think you'd have to pay for that one," she said, her smile not returning. "You hardly took three bites."

He nodded. "Thank you, ma'am."

"I should introduce you to Mr. Todd," Mrs. Lovett voiced, turning her head to the side.

"I don't think -"

"Oh, come now, I'm sure he's not busy." Her smile returned.

I decided to speak up. "I _really_ don't think he needs a shave," I said confidently, glancing at Ryuga's smooth jaw.

"Mr. Todd does more than that," she explained, moving her penetrating gaze to me for a second, then back to Ryuga. "He has colognes, beauty tips - he could do your hair, sir, looks like you need it." She chuckled. "Even acts as a doctor if you need doctorin'."

He shook his head. "We -"

"Oh, nonsense! Come now, I'll show you up." She all but grabbed Ryuga's elbow. "And you, love," she said to me, "Why don't you come along?" Before I could protest, Mrs. Lovett had my hand in her left and Ryuga's elbow in her right. She took us outside and up some creaky wooden stairs.

The cold that the outside brought was short-lived, because soon we were inside a large, near-empty room. However, this room brought its own kind of cold. The chipped walls and peeling wallpaper accented the dust-covered crib and the broken mirror in the corner. The man standing by a barber's chair and a table full of bits and bobs even seemed to match the decor, with darkened eyes and a pale complexion. His hair was as unkempt as Mrs. Lovett's and he looked up without a smile as we entered.

"Hey, Mr. Todd, they was askin' for ya." She pushed us forward.

"I don't believe I -" Ryuga started.

"Oh?" Mr. Todd asked, turning toward us and flipping closed a shining silver razor.

"Ryuga said 'e's 'eard of ya, but when I said you should meet 'im, he started tryin' to leave."

"Ah." The barber smiled a little. "So I'm famous, am I?" He nodded at me. "Who's she?"

Mrs. Lovett looked at me, and suddenly I felt the heat of a spotlight.

"Um, I'm Ja - uh, Lucy." I nodded. I liked the fake name much better than the real one. "I'm Lucy."

"You're what?" Mr. Todd asked uneasily, and Ryuga looked across at me, studying my face.

"Yeah. Name's Lucy." I waved. "Hi."

Mrs. Lovett shook her head and walked over to the barber. "Come now, Mr. T. Give it a rest. Whatever happened to -"

"I know!" he hissed at her. "What might you have heard of me?" he asked Ryuga.

"Not much," he replied. "You're... an excellent barber."

"Really?" Mr. Todd asked, stepping toward him. "Anything else?" I heard the cling of his razor flipping open.

" 'e didn't want to finish my pie, once he heard what my name was," Mrs. Lovett offered.

"Ah, that decides it, then."

And he lunged for Ryuga.


	6. Chapter Six: Gotrgau

**Author's Note: **Sorry about not updating. Well, I DID just finish this chapter, but I had it mostly done already. I don't even have the next one started, though. Oh, and you might want to read the announcement on my profile. It's kind of important.

**__**

But if you are, at all, confused, PLEASE tell me about what and I can fix it. I know all of these fandoms (obviously) and so I might assume you to know something that you don't.

* * *

" '_e didn't want to finish my pie, once he heard what my name was," Mrs. Lovett offered._

"_Ah, that decides it, then."_

_And he lunged for Ryuga._

* * *

And missed.

He stumbled across the dirt, nearly losing the grip on his razor. The three of us gazed around at the vast desert-like nothingness dotted with shrubs that was our setting.

"What witchcraft is this?" Mr. Todd asked, wide-eyed, and stumbled back from us. He landed his frightening eyes on mine.

I put up my hands. "Hey, don't look at me," I defended.

Ryuga looked at me. "When did it start?" he asked softly.

"This morning, when I woke up." I coughed into my elbow.

Mr. Todd seemed to come to his senses, standing up straight. He procured another razor from somewhere and opened both, pointing one at each of us. "Where have you taken me?" he growled.

Ryuga seemed unfazed. "We don't know," he said simply, "And threatening us won't help with figuring it out."

Suddenly all three of us jumped at the sound of gunfire. "Jayne!" someone off in the distance shouted.

"Lucy," Ryuga said, and Mr. Todd flinched. "I believe we should walk that way." Then, in his permanent slouch, he did. I followed him.

Frustrated, Mr. Todd rushed to catch up. "Reverse what you've done," he demanded. When neither of us responded, he grabbed me, holding my hands together in front of me in his iron-cold grip and pressing his razor to my throat. I let out an involuntary squeal of fear and surprise. His grip tightened on my wrists and the sharp razor warmed against my jaw.

"Reverse it or the girl dies," he snarled at Ryuga.

The black-haired Asian whirled around. "I can't," he said simply, eyes widened in fear.

Someone stalked into view behind him. The newcomer was tall, with short brown hair, a maroon shirt, suspenders, and a long brown coat. Mr. Todd only tightened his grip, his front pressing against my back, and I started to sweat in the desert heat and Mr. Todd's added body heat.

The newcomer pulled out a pistol and went to point it at me, and I shut my eyes, cringing. Why did people keep doing that? But when I re-opened my eyes, I discovered that the pistol was trained on Mr. Todd, and I let out a breath.

"Hope I'm not intruding," the newcomer said, cocking the gun. "You in the middle of something?"

"Please release Lucy," Ryuga said sternly. Mr. Todd stiffened behind me, then released his grip on my wrists and removed the blade from my throat.

Ryuga turned to the newcomer. "Now, sir-"

"Captain Malcolm Reynolds," he interrupted.

"Captain, I don't think killing is the answer."

The Captain still had his pistol on Mr. Todd. He glanced at his line of fire and shrugged. "Why not? He was about to kill her." He nodded his head at me.

"Yes, but he didn't," Ryuga reminded him, then took a step toward Mr. Todd, who gripped his open razor tightly while glowering at us. "We can't reverse it," he tried to explain. "We don't know how it happened, Please bear with us for now."

Captain Reynolds listened with interest. "You in trouble?" he asked us.

"Kind of," I answered. "Any idea where we are?"

He paused, sizing up each of us in turn. "Cremland," he answered. "A rock you'd do well to ship off. I got a rough feeling you wouldn't do well here. You got transport?"

"No," Ryuga answered.

He shook his head. "Follow me." He turned around and picked his way through the shrubs and over a hill to see -

"Is that a spaceship?" I asked loudly.

Something large and metal and shaped slightly like some sort of insect sat in a valley. It had what looked like side propellers and a cockpit shaped a bit like a snake's head. Four small, buglike legs supported its massive bulk.

Captain Reynolds seemed to take my outburst as an insult. " 'Course she's a spaceship," he said somewhat angrily and defensively. "Might have some years on her, but a ship's a ship, and Serenity ain't one o' the worst."

Mr. Todd looked confused and Ryuga didn't say anything, his eyes filed with interest and some kind of odd happiness.

"You said you don't have transport," Captain Reynolds reminded us. "How about credit?"

Before I could respond, Ryuga nodded assuredly.

"Good. Can't take a passenger can't pay."

* * *

The inside of the ship was... unique. I had expected something futuristic and high-tech but the cargo bay was a cargo bay (complete with cargo) and our bunks were, well, bunks. With beds. Mr. Todd shut and locked the door of his bunk immediately, probably wanting to get away from all of this insanity - the poor man was from the 17th century, or somewhere around there - but I wandered into Ryuga's bunk and leaned against the wall. "I was wondering," I asked as I picked at my nails, "What was wrong with Mrs. Lovett's pies?"

He looked up at me from where he sat on his bed, wiggling his toes against the blanket. "Are you sure you want to know?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Sure. And how did you know their names?" I added.

"An urban legend originating in London, England," he explained, picking up a pillow. "A barber in Fleet Street who slits the throats of his customers. He's called Sweeney Todd."

"What does that have to do with pie?" I asked.

He met my gaze, his expression unclear. "How do you assume he rid himself of the bodies?"

My stomach lurched. "Oh," I said simply, and felt green. I rushed next door to my bunk where I'd seen a foldaway toilet, and promptly opened it and leaned over it, letting Mrs. Lovett's pie spew out of my mouth. I still felt horrible, but I washed out my mouth with the drawer-sink and washed my hands and face.

* * *

It had been a long time since we'd arrived there; a surprisingly long time compared to the other places I'd popped into. I wandered around the spaceship Serenity and came to rest on a couch outside the passenger bunks.

"You're fun," a young voice accused lightheartedly. A girl about my age with long, black hair and a slender frame slipped into view. I didn't know much about her other than her name, River, and the fact that she was a little crazy. As in, mentally insane. She sat next to me on the maroon couch and stared at me. "And lucky," she decided to add.

"Why?" I asked, putting my feet up next to me on the couch. No longer were they coated with soaking brown socks; a kind mechanic named Kaylee had given me a pair of olive boots. She also gave me some jeans and a shirt, saying that she was gonna throw 'em away anyway, then quickly adding that she wasn't giving me trash and how she liked me better than that, and she wouldn't just give me some _goh se_ 'cause she couldn't find a suitable trash can, until I interrupted her saying that I was really thankful and that it was really nice of her to give me these.

"Because." River made a popping noise with her mouth. "You're different."

"Says who?"

She looked across at my new boots. "Bricks don't fly and larks don't sing but the earth turns all the same." She met my gaze. "Anomaly," she added, and made the popping noise again. She grinned. "You must be fun."

I smiled, not comprehending her. "So I've been told."

"I want to come," she said wistfully, looking up at me.

"Come where?" I asked.

"Next time. Simon says he can get me better, but he knows he's not getting anywhere. They'd all do better without me. All of them would be happy. I want to come next time."

I rose an eyebrow skeptically. "Next time?"

She nodded. "Next time." She made the popping noise. "We could go anywhere. Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn." River giggled. "Universe folds around like tunnels in the cave. Pirate treasure." She looked up at me. "I could help."

"Help with what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Stop being a moron!" she laughed. "Make sure I come with you."

I wondered for a second if she knew about what had been happening to me. "I'm not sure if I can," I ventured.

River grinned. "You will. Like a big blue box full of fun and surprises. Pop!" The idea sent her into a giggling fit and she leaned back into the couch. "Two Captain Jacks, one two three, a skeleton, a cowboy, five in the tree!"

Her expression was one of absolute hilarity, as if she had just made the best joke since the chicken crossing the road. I stood up from the couch, slightly worried. "Um, I'll try," I responded, unsure. "Next time."

Turned out, that time was now.


End file.
